Coca-Cola and Santa's Red Coat: How I know the Truth

Many claim that the soft drinks company changed his coat from green to red to promote their drink. But did they?

Coca-Cola-and-Santas-Red-Coat-How-I-Know-the-Truth

What children can learn from the Battle of Trafalgar

Today is the anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar, when the British Navy defeated the combined French and Spanish Navies. It was a battle fought within the Napoleonic Wars that took place from 1803 to 1815. Of course, being a History teacher I would know that, wouldn't I? 



Then again - why would a History teacher need to know everything that ever happened? For one thing, our brains just can't hold all that information and secondly, we do not teach this battle, nor the Napoleonic Wars, to mainstream classes. Perhaps at Advanced Level but certainly not for the younger children. Why is that? It was a battle that demonstrated the naval supremacy of the British led by Admiral Lord Nelson, who displayed his strategic skills in going against orthodox tactics to gain victory. Lord Nelson's statue stands atop his own column within Trafalgar Square in London. His ship, HMS Victory, is now docked in Portsmouth and serves as a tourist attraction and reminder of how Napoleon's planned invasion of Britain was thwarted. Art has captured the battle and his deathbed, the BeeGees and even Star Trek have found inspiration in the Battle of Trafalgar and Lord Nelson.



So why are children prevented from learning about such a landmark event in their History?



The same reason why this current generation thinks that Churchill is that nodding dog from the car insurance advert.  Great wartime leaders, especially British ones, are seen from those above (by this I mean government education bodies) as a little bit embarrassing. As a nation we do not condone violence or celebrating it. Well, I'm certainly in favour of that. Despite the fact that I constantly write about battles and warriors, I do not like violence.



However, I do not like going to the dentist or hospital either. But sometimes we have to indulge in unpleasant or painful things in order to get better. I consider myself a pacifist - yes, really - but in all of these cases we have to look at the consequences. If I refused to get that tooth filled it may have led to infection, abscesses, erosion of my jawbone and even death.  Pharaoh Rameses II died of a tooth abscess. So if Sir Winston Churchill did not declare war against Hitler and Germany and Nelson did not win against Napoleon we could be speaking a different language by now. Both of these men fancied world domination and Britain stopped them.



Of course we don't want our children thinking that Britain is some kind of supreme nation as in the days of the British Empire. What we need to teach them is that we have to stand up to tyrants and bullies. Children can identify with that and understand that it is not an easy thing to do.



Sin, immortality and good teeth

How many lunch boxes have apples in them, I wonder. Not as squashy as bananas or plums, not as juicy as satsumas or peaches, apples are the perfect travelling fruit. As children we were told that they kept our teeth clean. Even better than that, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. 

Read more...

Why we all love pirates

Talk like a pirate day, maties. What's the deal with pirates then?

http://www.ajsefton.com/#!september-13-blog/c1iey

Why I think August could be the beginning of the end

I am not too keen on the last week of August. Despite serving as a reminder that the summer holidays are almost over, which means checking school uniforms, re-ordering items that no longer fit and so on, it may as well be the end of the year. Summer, for me, is May, June and July. Perhaps I need to redesign my garden so that the flowers last longer than the first week of August.

Read more...August Blog

The evolution of festivals

Festivals. The word means either Woodstock or Harvest to me. Woodstock was before my time and I have very fond memories of the colourful celebrations at harvest time when I was a child. But of course, there is more to it than that.

This last weekend my friendship groups were split into two. One lot, the older group (I kid you not!) went to the V Festival, which is an open air music festival. The other group - well let me be honest here, a generation younger than me - went to the Summer in the City Festival at Alexandra Palace in London.

The only thing these events shared was the date. The Summer in the City was a gathering of Youtubers, those new celebrities who have made their name by posting videos of themselves online. There are comedians, musicians, observationists, satirists and agony aunts. Probably many more talents that I am unaware of. But they have all made their name, and made a living, from Youtube. Just like books and blogging, festivals have moved into new technological era.

So this is the new direction for festivals but where did they start? The word simply means 'celebration' and therefore will have been around since civilisation began. Like the Harvest Festival, faiths all around the world have held celebrations for religious commemoration and worship. Over the last century there have been film, motor, folk, arts and literary festivals. Anything can be celebrated and therefore anything can have a festival.

In Anglo-Saxon times the people celebrated more than ever. With no books or television to pass the time and the prospects of a short life, if there was anything worth celebrating there was a festival for it. When Christianity came to the pagan kingdoms, the new festivals were embraced while the traditional ones were maintained.

Some of my favourite festivals are the Bilberry Sunday festival, when, at the end of July when all the bilberries have been picked, there is a huge festival to celebrate the harvest. I imagine that there were lots of bilberry pies and barrels of bilberry wine consumed. There will have been music and dancing as well as feasting. Another is the Orchard Visiting Wassail, the festival where people sing and drink in order to wake the apple trees that are prized for their cider apples. The festivities are supposed to scare away evil spirits and ensure a good crop. The folks try to make as much noise as they can once the singing is over and a piece of bread soaked in cider is left on the roots of the trees. This festival evolved into the Apple Wassail during the sixteenth century but maintained the principle ideas. My own version of this festival (albeit a wee bit more gory!) is in The Dark Garden, which I am writing as a weekly serial.

Other favourites of mine include the Lantern Festivals held in China, Thailand, Taiwan and other Buddhist countries. Lanterns of every description are paraded through streets and set the sky alight. Another Buddhist festival I like is the Songkran Water Festival. Here, to symbolise the purity and cleansing of the spirit, a statue of Buddha is bathed and then a huge water fight breaks out in the streets with hose pipes  buckets and water guns. Then there is the Grape Throwing Festival in Spain, the Dead Cat Festival of Belgium (toy cats are thrown, no dead ones), Sandfest in Texas, Glastonbury, Frozen Dead Guys Festival in Colorado and Harbin Ice and Snow Festival in China.

The evolutionary process has taken the best from the traditional celebrations and discarded the unpleasant, such as sacrifice festivals (these used to be in November in Anglo-Saxon times). In some cases they include the new, like the Summer in the City and film festivals. But, overall, they haven't changed very much at all. They are mostly outdoors and include eating, drinking and singing.

If I had to choose three things worth celebrating it would probably be the three above: because they signify what it is to be alive.

http://www.ajsefton.com

When not knowing your history damages the local economy

"OOh no,  Zeus wasn't from here!" said the lady in the shop, and began to tell me the story of how young Zeus was brought up by wolves.

I was in Crete and had asked if any of the small statues were of Zeus, as he was from the island. That's when she told me the story of Romulus and Remus - the twins who founded Rome.

She attempted to tell me the life stories of the many philosophers and other mythical beings from antiquity, but I was already gone. How could I trust her knowledge when she was so glaringly wrong about the ancient king of the gods, Zeus? In her home country?

I was shocked by her ignorance. Also by the lack of anything relating to Zeus on the whole island. Obviously, history means nothing to the majority of the people. But does it matter that nobody cares about ancient myths? Is it important to anyone but historians?

Perhaps not. But at a time when the Greek economy is far from its best, the locals need to be selling their country. And despite Moussaka and Greek Salad, the mythology is their best export. Maybe my eighty Euros would not have made much of a dent in their debts, but it all counts. How many other tourists would have bought replicas of statues of Zeus had they known Crete was where he lived?

This is the point where I planned to insert my picture of the statue of Zeus that I purchased. But I don't have one, so here is a picture of the sea.

Significant Anglo-Saxon battles

From the beginning  to the end, when Harold became the last Anglo=Saxon king, a selection of the most significant battles http://www.ajsefton.com/#!battles/c1fi0

When heroes work together

So the Man of Steel and Batman are to team up and fight crime together.

 

Or are they? Are they, as some have suggested, about to become enemies and not a dual fighting force? Superheroes fans are a little anxious at the moment. Personally, I will watch the film which ever way it turns out. But I know there are some serious fans out there who really do not want a 'versus' situation.

 

Two heads are better than one, even if one of those heads is the Super head of an alien Man of Steel. But this is not my area. My area is the Dark Ages, and it led me to consider some partnerships in the past. 

 

The first that came to my mind is one I have researched intensively: Penda of Mercia and Cadwallon of Gwynedd. An unlikely pairing, Penda was a pagan and an Anglo-Saxon and the enemy, in most cases, of Christian Britons, which Cadwallon was. But they did form an alliance and fought together in a number of battles. The most famous of these was against Northumbria and the king there, Edwin. Edwin was defeated during the battle at Hatfield Chase, in 633 AD. The result certainly put Mercia and Penda into the history books.

 

Originally my book Gulfyrian was to start at this point and I had planned to develop the relationship between Penda and Cadwallon. Cadwallon was the senior king at this time and Penda must have been serving his apprenticeship as a successful warrior. There was so much information as well as a huge timescale that I eventually decided to drop this part of Penda's life in Gulfyrian. However, all the information - research, ideas, plot lines - are still saved on my pc to be brought out another day. And they will.

 

Other notable duos include Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson, Lennon and McCartney, Starsky and Hutch, Pierre and Marie Curie and some not on the good side such as Bonnie and Clyde, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and Thelma and Louise. Famous adversaries are David and Goliath, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hide and Dr Who and the Daleks. Duos are the way forward, one way or another.

 

I will conclude with two quotes. The first is from the actor Tommy Lee Jones: "Partnerships are good engines for narrative."

 

Second, from English footballer Wayne Rooney: "Perfect partners don't exist. Perfect conditions exist for a limited time in which partnerships express themselves best."

 

So on that basis, Superman and Batman can work together for a while. Unless they are enemies. Either way, it will make a good film. I think.

The Dark Garden, Chapter 7

A little wooden sword, that had never borne witness to an oath or a killing, was dropped in the grave beside the prince. Blackberries, too, for the journey to the afterlife. Jeffrey liked blackberries.

Read on... http://www.ajsefton.com/#!serialised-novel/c1yda

How role play has evolved

It is another one of those shameful secrets adults like to keep to themselves. But it has always taken place. There are appropriate names - nobody uses their real ones in case they are 'outed'. Code words, passwords, secret rendezvous. It's a serious and dark world for the role-player.

 

It is not the same as acting. These people are not, nor aspire to become, thespians. 

 

There are three types of adult role-player. First, the historical re-enactor. They are people who pretend as if they are from a past period and often will re-enact events - usually famous battles. This has been a pastime for thousands of years. There is evidence that the ancient Romans and Chinese indulges in such role-play.

 

In modern times the re-enactors take their role-playing very seriously. Everything from weapons, clothes and food are reproduced accurately as possible. Old techniques such as wool dying are carried out in the same ways they were in the re-enactment period. The re-enactors can spend thousands of pounds when purchasing a replica sword. 

 

Whilst not a re-enactor myself, I am a spectator. The re-enactors' craft is invaluable to me as it gives me a unique insight as to what it may have been like in Anglo-Saxon times during battle. The camp followers, the sounds of battle, clothes and cooking are all fairly accurate and help me create scenes for my stories.

 

The second type of role-play is the game (RPG), where people take on the part of characters in order to create a story. This is further divided into live action role-play (LARP) and the original format, the tabletop RPG. In the original tabletop version the story develops through discussion. In both types of RPG there is a game master (GM) who decides on the rules and setting and acts as a kind of umpire. The first famous example is Dungeons and Dragons. This was inspired by fantasy literature and those wonderful Early Medieval tales of King Arthur: a mix of folklore, pagan beliefs and magic as well as heroic quests and square jawed heroes.

 

The natural evolution was the transfer to electronic versions and it happened as early as the 1970s. With an Internet connection for educational purposes, university students developed Multi-User Dungeons (MUD). As technology progressed so did the games. Whole worlds have been created and include a host of species and have involved millions of users throughout the world. The most successful game, World of Warcraft, has had over ten million subscribers. I have dabbled in this game as well as Diablo and my first and favourite role-playing computer game, Dungeon Siege. My hero was named Gulfyrian.

 

There are trends in gaming as much as any other area of life and I know that a number of teenagers are creating their own fantasy role-playing. Similar to the Fanfics theme, people choose their fictional characters from films such as the Marvel franchise, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Star Trek and the television series Heroes. Often these role-plays are carried out on social network sites like Twitter. They seem like a lot of fun.

 

As for me, as a teacher I was role-playing all the time. Now and again, when there was time, I dressed up as an historical figure, King Charles I, for example. In character I could threaten those pupils who forgot their homework with wonderful punishments like walking the plank, the gallows or - for persistent offenders - being hung drawn and quartered.

 

Very evolutionary.

To see an example from a Star Trek role play click here

Chapter 5 of The Dark Garden is out tomorrow

The Dark Garden has its next chapter tomorrow, Wednesday. Catch up with previous chapters here:

The Dark Garden

Superman's lost his - why everyone should have a utility belt

I went to see the new Superman film Man of Steel recently. I found it enjoyable but was caught up in the controversy over his new outfit. I do believe that the producers made the right decision in letting the poor man wear his underwear under his outside clothes. Besides being a totally daft look that made the superhero an international laughing stock, it was so 1950s. I'm not sure why the concept of wearing clothes in the wrong order is reminiscent of the rock'n'roll decade that was the 1950s, but it is. So at least the new Superman has progressed into a twenty-first century version, just like Batman and Thor.

 

Fans have claimed that in the next film Superman will have a little bit of a makeover in as much as he will regain his belt. Not external panties though. Which is good news because everyone should wear a belt.

 

 

Batman would be lost without his. Like those of police officers, Batman's belt is part of his toolkit for crime fighting and not just a fashion accessory or for keeping up his trousers. It contains various canisters and bat shaped implements called batarangs, which work as throwing weapons that return like boomerangs. The belt also has handcuffs similar to those used by police officers. I particularly like the canisters that contain whatever is necessary for his particular predicament. In one instance there was shark repellent. Very useful. He also carries napalm, lasers, tasers, smoke pellets, explosive gel and Kryptonite, in case he comes up against Superman.

 

 

Other supporters of utility belts are Ninja warriors to enable them to carry their weapons and Jedi warriors (from Star Wars). I wear one when travelling abroad to house my money, headache tablets, insect repellent, moist wipes and other bits and bobs I deem vital for that particular journey.

 

 

The thing is, no matter how great and modern I feel utility belts are, the Anglo-Saxons were using them at least a thousand years before anyone I mentioned above. They tied in the tunics or dresses, so were practical. But they were essential for the survival of the people in their daily lives. Examinations of grave sites have given us a glimpse of what they carried with them. There was always a seax for the free people, which was a knife, or dagger, that was used as a culinary knife or a cutting tool for day to day living. It was probably not used as a weapon although it had that capability, and was carried by all men and women who were not slaves. Hanging from the thin leather or fabric belt would have been keys (made from wood, bone or horn) and a pouch. Inside the pouch coins, combs and flint have been recovered. The flint stones would have been like matches to light fires. The combs tell us that they took care of their hair. Which is a nice thought.

 

 

To see replicas of Anglo-Saxon utility belts take a look at my Pinterest page.

 

 

I'm off to the birthplace of Zeus in a couple of weeks and I'm just assessing what I should put in my utility belt this time. Superman - take note.

Why Spock is really British

As we are still talking about the revival of Star Trek, it occurred to me that Spock is not from that strange orange planet, Vulcan, after all. Neither is he from the future, as he is portrayed in the film Into Darkness.

No, he is British and from the past.

 

I make this judgement because of the qualities and values he has. Spock is famous for being logical and for not displaying emotions. As was explained in the film, Spock (and all those from the planet Vulcan) does have emotions but the ideal is to control, thus conceal, them. These are British qualities from the Victorian period. The concept of making decisions based on logic, as opposed to emotion or spirituality, was at its height in Europe during the eighteenth century. This was during an intellectual period known as the Enlightenment, where the emphasis on principle and discovery was based on empirical study, not religious belief, which had preceded this time.

 

Spock was a 'mixed-species' child as his father was Vulcan and his mother was human. In the film we saw him being bullied because of his mixed heritage. So I guess that bullying and racism aren't just human traits, or perhaps the film makers tried to extend this into other worlds. It is definitely a human thing and has existed for as long as history has recorded. The invasion of the Anglo-Saxons saw battles between the migrant peoples and the indigenous Britons, which was to be expected. However, the Anglos clashed with the Saxons as well, with conflict based on racial lines as much as territorial ones. 

 

The original actor of Spock, Leonard Nimoy, also identified with his character in the television series. Nimoy was a Jew and often felt isolated because of his faith and for being born in America to immigrant parents (from Ukraine). Spock was the only Vulcan on board the star ship Enterprise, as well as being part of an endangered race of people following the destruction of his planet, Vulcan. Nimoy's personal experiences added to his portrayal of an alien.

 

Spock's legacy has been huge. NASA has adopted him as an unofficial mascot but more significantly, he has been inspirational to scientists and engineers. Despite the somewhat silly aspects of the character of Spock, such as the green blood and pointy ears, he has endured in popular culture and not just for the geeky Trekkies. He is a good role model. He is a peaceful, non-violent man: vegetarian so that he can avoid killing. Sounds a bit like compassion to me, but that's logic, not emotion, surely?

 

What I have learned from Spock is that nothing really changes: journeys of discovery are the only kind there are, whether in the future or the past.

Catch up on Chapter 2 of The Dark Garden

King Pybba of Mercia feels as if he is losing. 



He is losing control over his kingdom, his family and his life. His opponents overtake him at every turn. He needs to escape to a place where none of these things matter, where he can be unseen and feel better. A place where sanctuary transcends life.



That place is the Dark Garden.

Read it here

Why I like a Great and Terrible King

Tuesday 18 June 2013

He gave Jews yellow stars to wear hundreds of years before Hitler, and yet he is still my favourite monarch.

Yesterday was the birthday of Edward I, also known as 'Longshanks' and the 'Hammer of the Scots' and to some, 'The Leopard'; born in 1239.  To a lot of people he was the wimpy English king portrayed in the film Braveheart set against the brilliant William Wallace but as any historian will tell you, this was not how Edward really was. 

Edward was, as Marc Morris said in his biography, A Great and Terrible King. Great because he defined the English. The first English monarch to actually speak the English language since the Norman invasion by William the Conqueror, he decided that he would create an English identity. He re-discovered the myths of King Arthur and held him up as an English ideal. Edward's grandson, Edward III, continued with the theme and helped develop the perfect English chivalrous knight by utilising King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.

A part of that English identity involved ruling all of the British Isles. There were many wars with the Welsh and Scottish and the ramifications are with us today. However, Wales has been left with the visual reminder of Edward's English dominion in the many castles he had built, from Conwy, Harlech and Aberystwyth. Personally I love these castles and they have surely boosted Wales's tourism. Not really sure how the Welsh view them today.

Edward established parliament and was involved in law-making as he restored royal power, which had been fading with previous monarchs. He also went on crusade, which further added to the English identity of Christian morality. It is reported that he was one of a very small number of monarchs who actually loved his wife and was devastated when she died. 

He was physically a big man, hence his nickname of ‘Longshanks’. He also had a temper so many people were afraid of him. Edward's military campaigns contributed to his fearful reputation as well as his expulsion of Jews when money became an issue. These are things that made Edward a terrible king.

It is not by chance that people reviewing the biography of Edward found it as exciting as a novel. He is my favourite monarch because he is so interesting. He had a full life, from birth to death, always intoxicating. 

My favourite - that doesn't mean that I like him. Except for the castles.

www.ajsefton.com

To boldly go...again

Space: the final frontier. Beam me up, Scotty. That is illogical, captain. Live long and prosper.

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Familiar phrases that have now become clichés over the last fifty or so years. What is more, 'To boldly go' has been used to explain the concept of the split infinitive. Of course, these quotes are from the television series Star Trek: the nerdy American science fiction show that spawned a whole raft of next generation films. Lately the film makers have gone back to the beginning with the original characters of Captain James T. Kirk, Mr Spock, Lieutenant Uhura, Sulu, Bones and Scotty. Their names just tripped off my tongue. Which is strange as I never really liked the series nor liked the slightly odd Trekkie fans. 



A couple of weeks ago I was persuaded to go to the cinema to see the latest incarnation of Star Trek, Into Darkness. The quality of the film, like all modern films now, was excellent. 3D technology and  effects as well as intricate machinery made a visually stunning experience even to the non-believers like me. It put to shame the scrappy sets of the 1970s television series, the whooshing sliding doors of the future, the dreadfully short trousers and the very patronising depiction of a female lieutenant, who was nothing more that a receptionist in a short dress. So now there is the twenty-first century version of Star Trek available in accessible format for the modern teenager, complete with thinking baddie instead of the slobbering blobs of evil that I witnessed in my youth. The 'little woman' receptionist in space (the earpiece made me laugh in the original series) is no more. She is seriously technical, opinionated and argumentative. She is even having an affair with the guy with the pointy ears, the one who has no emotions. Only, now he does. He just controls them.



On the day that the British government, in its wisdom, has decided to return to a pre-1980s examination format for our school children, I am reminded that everything is cyclical. Change and going forward is all about progress. Boldly going into the unknown is a great motto. Discovery and exploration lead to greater knowledge and learning and I'm all for that. But part of that discovery is knowing when things are good and keeping hold of them. Like the original Mr Spock or Captain Kirk and the 'superheroes' of the comic book world who are being rebooted. All they needed was a bit of polish to update them.



http://www.ajsefton.com​

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Why words matter - and why they don't

They tried to do it in the United States. They tried to do it with British school children in the 1960s. In 1897 an Association was set up just to do this: simplify English spelling. Now, according to linguist Professor David Crystal, it will happen in the next fifty years without any intervention.

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The problem is, as we all know, that the rules for spelling in English English (as opposed to American English or Australian English, for example) are complex. The reason for this is that the language, along with spelling, has evolved from many sources. The Roman alphabet we use now only became the writing system in the seventh century when the missionaries brought the Latin scriptures over. The peoples before then were mostly illiterate although some religious leaders or nobles could interpret a  strange, linear system known as futhorc, or runes. The Celtic and Gaelic peoples on the periphery of the British Isles developed their own languages. Then came the Anglo-Saxons, Scandinavian Vikings, Normans, each with their own culture, words and spellings, and in some cases extra letters too. Add to that dialects that grew from a lack of contact and uniformity and no standardised spelling - there you are - confused.



Like everything else, spelling evolves. Just look at the works of Chaucer and Shakespeare. The first time I read Chaucer I wondered what language it was as it was so alien to me. But it was English and after a while I could decipher the words by considering the stems and origins until I believed that yes, it was my mother tongue.



However, according to the linguist Professor David Crystal, speaking at this year's Hay Literary Festival, it is not a natural evolution that will ease the spellings, but the internet. Search engines now recognise misspelled words therefore rendering them acceptable. Words such as receipt with the p missing and necessary spelled with an s instead of a cdemonstrate that silent letters are on their way out. ​



He said: “The internet will influence spelling. It will get rid some letters that irritate us, the letters that instinctively we feel shouldn't be there. But it will take time.” He suggests that it will take around fifty years.



Twitter came under fire for the most misspelled words and many people joined the debate on how dreadful spelling and grammar standards are. People write in text speak and children think that this is the normal thing to do because they are only exposed to this way of writing, some have argued. 



The interesting point here is that Facebook mainly does not comply with this trend of misspellings and abbreviation. Why is that? Of course people do not communicate on Facebook as they would with a solicitor or potential employer, but it is better than Twitter. The reason is that we simply alter our methods of writing, thus spelling, as we see fit. Twitter has a character limit, which I found infuriating when I first joined. I left after a week or so because I couldn't cope. Then I went back. Now I use abbreviations and leave off all punctuation so that my character limit is not reached. Likewise, when texting I use as few letters as possible to get my message across. I think I have fat fingers because I hardly ever get the message right first time. txt u l8r. Adequate.



Children, even if brought up texting and tweeting before they can speak, will come to know the appropriate occasions when writing needs to be formal or when 'text speak' is acceptable. Shopping lists, texts, essays, application letters are all different forms of writing and often spelling too. (Shop list - T; catfud; looroll...)



The question is whether it matters how words are spelled as long as the meaning is clear. The answer is that it depends on the context. On the whole, I think people know where the borders are. Nobody would expect to read an encyclopaedia in the style of a tweet. I'm not sure if Professor Crystal is right in his prediction of the death of the silent letter. It could go the same way as the comma in addresses, I suppose.



It seems to me that English will come full circle and we will be using runes again one day. As for the silent letters - will anybody notice?

http://www.ajsefton.com

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Speaking Anglo-Saxon - Seven Ages of Britain - Series 1 Episode 1 Previe...

See more on the Anglo-Saxon language here http://www.ajsefton.com/#!pronunciation-guide-/c1zkb

What is so creepy about the discovery of the Mary Rose

The news that a new museum dedicated to the discovery of Henry VIII's ship, the Mary Rose, should be exciting to everyone, but especially to me as an historian. But a part of me is a bit creeped out.



I first saw the hulk of the ship when I visited Portsmouth about ten years ago. In 1982 I watched intently when she was hauled from the Solent, having been submerged for four hundred years. Surprisingly, perhaps, the Mary Rose was discovered in 1836 and some of the guns were removed. But then the location was lost for another hundred years until 1971.



The Mary Rose was a warship of the English Tudor navy of King Henry VIII. After serving for over thirty years in wars against France, Scotland, and Brittany, she saw her last action on 19 July 1545. While leading the attack on the galleys of a French invasion fleet, she sank in the Solent, the straits north of the Isle of Wight.



The new museum serves as a time capsule of Tudor times. There are reconstructed crew members made from a process we have recently seen with Richard III. There is an eerie life-like archer, his spine twisted from years of using his archery equipment. There are grooves in the bones of his fingers where he has pulled the string of his longbow. He is five feet ten inches tall, strong and well-built and was wearing a leather jerkin when the ship went down. 



There is a skeleton of a dog that would have looked like a whippet, earning his place on the royal ship as chief rat catcher. He was a young dog; DNA studies on his bones claim that he was about two years old. And now he sits proud on the ship that is destined to become as famous as Pompeii.



Although the cargo of former life is mysterious and supernatural enough to send a shiver down my spine, it is the discovery of lots of combs that makes my hair stand on end.



The Tudors had nits.



As a parent and teacher, the fear of head lice is always present. Nasty, blood sucking parasites. Seeing the ancient nit combs that look so much like our modern ones, is very disturbing. However, I shouldn't be surprised. Head lice have been known to have lived on people for as long as homo sapiens has existed, the first evidence is from ten thousand years ago in Brazil. It has been suggested that Neolithic peoples actually enjoyed having them as it meant that there was always a food supply available. I'm really not sure about that hypothesis.



Egyptian mummies have been found with nits attached to their hair. Some have had the fine tooth combs necessary to remove nits, which are lice eggs, packed in their tombs to take with them to the afterlife. Head lice for eternity - what a disgusting thought!



All cultures have left evidence of suffering from this pest, whether it was from their remains or the presence of nit-combs, often with nits still trapped in the teeth, as was the case when one found by Hadrian's Wall from 72 AD. The first written evidence came from Aristotle when he wrote a theory on how lice occur. The Anglo-Saxons had many combs, suggesting that they took care of their hair. But even here the combs look very much like our nit detection combs. See an image of the combs here - look at the clothing section on the right​.



In my book Teon, the queen gives Teon a comb as a gift when he is taken in by the royal house as a musician, or scop as they were known. He is absolutely riddled with lice.  My head bleeds from scratching when I'm writing these scenes. It has to be done for the sake of my art.



So the moral of the story is that the little blighters will get you no matter who you are. At least in this modern age we know how to avoid them: keep away from children. Oh, and sailors and archers and Egyptian mummies and cave-men...

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